Monday, 22 December 2014

The real journey begin


new semester huh?

I'm in Semester 4 but not in Kirkby International College, but in IPG Kampus Sultan Abdul Halim. 

IPG? Goshh, never thought I would be here. Why? Because our lecturer in Kirkby (Miss Foo Ai Peng) once said, 

'kamu jangan pernah haraplah nak duduk maktab, sebab kontrak kamu dengan Kirkby 5 tahun, jadi jangan risau, kamu takkan ke mana-mana'.

So none of us have a thought about this.

So, the day came. Allow me to write in Malay a lil bit.

So, tersangatlah nervous bapak sampai tak tahu nak interpret sebab konon masuk IPG buat kali pertama. Konon junior. Padahal dah sem 4. Daftar dengan junior foundation haaaa.

Kome ade? Time daftar bebudak junior yang girls pakai baju kurung kain hitam and baju putih. Boleh bayang tak? alaaa yang ala-ala uniform sekolah rendah tu, tapi tudungnya hitamlah. 

tetiba kami geng Kirkby datang berpakaian serba hitam. ambik. Balck metal sangat. dah plan dah actuaaly nak pakai baju hitam tu sebab hitam mostly semua ada. 

So, daftarlah kami kami ni bersama junior. Tak kurang jugak yang memerhati pelik sebab apa kesnya junior pakai serba hitam? tapi lantaklah. Kami senior kot. Actually lah kan. hmm

Sekian mendaftarnya, orientasilah pulak? hmm. Sumpah aku dengar perkataan orientasi tu banyak kali dah dalam hidup. So nak naik muntah dengar kena terlibat dengan orientasi once again?

Sebab apa aku cakap aku dah muak??

1) Orientasi UNISZA (first universiti aku masok sebulan cukuplah kat sana)
2) Orientasi kat Kirkby International College (tempat seterusnya lah lepas UNISZA tuh, sempatlah bertiga tahun di sini)
3) AND NOW Orientasi IPG plak. Mana aku tak naim kuak?? 

Orientasi bukan sehari dua. Mau 3/4 hari gak. hmm.

So sorry , once aku dengar kena masuk orientasi, oh tersangatlah berang tapi apakan daya. Aku pikir balik, memang patot pon kena orientasi tu, sebab peraturan IPG segala yang aku sendiri tak familliar lagi. So, gagahkan ja lah diri ku yang layu ini.

First day was okay, adalah kan yang baik, adalah kan yang buat muka, ada jugaklah kan yang tanya sambil buat muka 'budak kirby ka? awat masok sini?'

Kami tawlah kehadiran kami di sini tidak diundang, kami juga tidak mahu mengundang diri kami di sana sebenarnya. But this is what we called destiny. 

I believe there is something that Allah has planned for us here. I'm hoping to be strong....

to be continue......

Blank minded

Well yeah, of course there are many sad moments and stories, along the last day we met.
 after knowing that 126 of us are going to be separated.....

including me.
But I just can't shed the tears because at that time I still can't believe the things that happened. I still believe that all these were just pranks.
And seeing friends around me, crying, shedding their tears, I told myself  'I can't cry here, I have to be strong'. So, on the day we separated, I just smile and even laugh on tiny little things which I rarely do. 

Along the way back from Putrajaya to Kedah, I reflected myself on what has happened, and what will going to happen.

I swear, it's literally a dull, sad, gloomy day. 


The day we are at home, we still contacted each other. 

For me, I'm glad along 3 years I went through in Kirkby, I learnt the meaning of life, the struggle of staying far from family, the challenges on the tasks and assignments, the treats from the lecturers (oh yeah, I'm kinda a naughty students; I usually protest, be late to class, sometimes skipped class, fights with librarians, with the 'mbak cafe' and so on), the unpredictable moments with friends; Gegaloks, Akobies and classmates. There used to be fights between us, but as life goes on, we reconciled and became friends back. (^_^)

that's all experience, right?

So 126 of us just wait for the day to become 'junior' once again in Teacher Training Institute (IPG). 

IPSAH, mu tunggu aku datang!

to be continue...

Sunday, 14 December 2014

Shocked news

my holiday?

haha, not so-called holiday..

Because I just spend my holiday at home.

But nevermind, I don't mind. It's bonding time!! lah sangat.
 haha, it's bonding time when there is no internet at home. 

Got me?

So, my usual dull but not so-dull holiday was suprised with texts from my colleagues.

Actually, I was one of the people who got the new late. Because I muted all wechat and whatsapp group and I rarely go online on FB. But I saw this kinda shocked news from Twitter. 

so, those tweets are?

 'Weh, takkanlah masok IPG?'
'Omagoshh taknak berpisah dengan kirkbytes'
'BPG tengah troll kita ke?'
'Aku rasa BPG salah orang kot'
'Kesian kat kita, batch experiment'

and more.

I was like 'what the h*** are you tweeting?'

then I began to unmute all those wechat and whatsapp groups and tried to find out what's happening. 

So, the news are possibly true. 
I was like 100% shocked.

Can't believe those news. 
So, kirkbytes were asked to go to bangunan pendidikan at putrajaya on this one day.

Can't actually remember this date because I actually don't want to remember the date.

The day we are going to be separated. 

Lotsa things right?

hmm, to be continue.

Tick Tock Tickie Time

it's 8.48 pm in the evening,
and I'm reminiscing memories and things that had happened in my life until this secs.

My previous post really shocked me a lot.

Because I have wished something that I never thought it would happen to me. 

My year began with something usual, something extra normal, which is I wake up, prepare myself to class, go back to hostel, finishing assignments, chit chatting with friends, watching Korean movies, songs, pray then sleep. My days continue with same things, same people, same routine.

I always thought,
"What a dull life".

Thank Allah, in this dull life, I actually found some peace and interesting moments when I joined Usrah and other things that involve in 'pemantapan akidah'. WOW

So, I lived my life, day by day, hours by hours, minutes by minutes, seconds by seconds.

Until I had my Sem 3 examination, and had our holidays break.


What happened along the holiday???

To be continue.

Monday, 6 January 2014


it's 2014.

I'm expecting some new things to happen in my life.
But I think, I may ended having life as super sorrow as before.
Thank Allah to send me a lot of good friends to me, to be beside me, to face this dull life together,.
Well, yeah.I shall say it's a very dull life.
Anyway, in this new year, I hope and expect more exciting things to happen in my life.
The thing regarding my college. hmm.
it will be a 'never ending story to be told'.
I just don't know the exact feeling right now.
Whether to stay focus in building my career as a teacher, or to just go with the flow.
my spirits are turning down.
its not a good thing.
I can't help myself to be stay calm, happy in this college,
I just thought that 'hey , my university-life would be awesome!'
yeah, that thought came out after listening to my senior's stories about being in the universities and yeah, media also plays well too.
I just can't tolerate the eager feeling about the excitement  to be in the university when I was still in the secondary school.
I just hope my life in secondary school would run faster so that I can feel the moment about being a university-student.
UNFORTUNATELY, its all went wrong.

never thought I would come here, 
having a same, common, bored, dull life here.
I didn't say about the students here.
well, students here are awesome, 
what I mean is the environment itself.
the same classes, lecturers, activities.
well come on!
we're teenagers.
we need something new,
something fresh,
something exciting,
something good to be memorise,

I just can say these LOUDLY in my own little tiny dull heart.
I was hoping to change my life.
but HOW?
Allah knows that.
He knows me better than everyone does.
I'm sure, He has placed something very good in the future for me.
All I need to do is TO BE PATIENT.

take care of yourselves,
look after your iman, 
your ibadah,
your behave,
your attitudes,
think about your family.

inshaAllah, everything will run smoothly. 


Friday, 3 January 2014

it's the beginning.

hey, its 


may this year will be greater, better and brings more barakah than the years before. 



Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Let the soul be.

Kusangka hidupku
Selamanya kelam
Terbelenggu ikatan tanpa manisnya cinta

Memaksa diriku
Menapaki jalan
Arah yang tak pernah ku mahu dalam hatiku

Kini kau pun hadir
Memberi cahaya
Membangunkan ku dari suramnya mimpi ngeri
Menuntun hatiku ke palung asmara
Seakan ku hidup kembali dari matiku

Engkaulah cinta
Yang selama ini aku cari

Ku Relakan Jiwa
Tuk menjadi penghuni dalam sangkar hatimu
Kerna engkaulah nadi yang menghidupkan aku
Yang mampu melarutkan setiap sepi hatiku

Hati bukan untuk dimiliki
Tapi untuk dicinta dan mencintai

Kurelakan jiwaku padamu
Engkaulah cinta
Yang selama ini aku cari

Ku relakan jiwa
Tuk menjadi penghuni dalam sangkar hatimu
Kerna engkaulah nadi yang menhidupkan aku
Yang mampu melarutkan setiap sepi hatiku
Seandainya waktu
Tak pernah pertemukan aku dengan dirimu
Akan kubiarkan mati hatiku selamanya
Sehingga kau datang membangunkan aku

#np Hazama : Ku relakan jiwa